Lizards and Bugs and Broken Hearts
by SweetSinger2010
Summary: It's up to Kallus to figure out what to do with the lizard Jacen is hiding in his closet-and how to handle the boy's questions about Hera's broken heart.


A/N: Let's go ahead and call this slightly AU. Wrote it to re-discover my "Fun Uncle Kallus" vibe; he may be making an appearance in the next chapter of "After Everything." Undecided. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

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Lizards and Bugs and Broken Hearts

Kallus couldn't stop a bit of admiration from creeping into his tone. "That's very smart," he said, surveying the improvised heat-lamp and container. Teal eyes, self-satisfied and twinkling with mischief, flashed to meet his.

"Yeah?"

"Naughty," Kallus qualified severely, " _Very_ naughty, but smart."

Jacen Syndulla grinned, poking his ill-gotten gain—an Ithorian tree lizard—with a grubby finger. The reptile blinked one eye at a time before turning its back to the humans, clearly disgusted with its lot. Jacen was thrilled. "Thanks," he said.

Kallus cringed before he asked the question he already knew the answer to. "Does your mother know about this?"

"Fat chance." Jacen pushed the reptile and paraphernalia back into his closet, cleverly hidden behind an old Rebel Alliance shipping container repurposed to a toy box and catch-all for the little boy's many found trinkets. "She doesn't like crawly things."

Kallus's nose wrinkled. "I can well imagine." He eyed the now-closed closet, terrified that Jacen's makeshift terrarium and heating apparatus would start a fire and burn the whole place down. He resolved to com Hera—who was away for the night—as soon as possible and ask her what she wanted to do about that. He suspected she'd want the reptile removed from her apartment forthwith, but for now, he simply asked Jacen, "Where did you find that thing anyway?"

The five-year-old flopped in the floor, stretching. "Around," he hedged.

"Indeed." The word was loaded with suspicion. "And—what do you feed it?"

Jacen rolled to his stomach, propping his chin on his hands and his dimpled, devilish grin was pure Kanan. "Dead _bugs!_ " He crowed happily.

Oh, how Hera was going to despise this. "And where do you find dead bugs?"

" _Anywhere."_ The boy lowered his voice to a whisper. "Mostly outside places. Chop helps."

"Of _course_ he does." Kallus laughed and dropped his line of questioning; he figured anything further would make him complicit in the matter. However, he couldn't quite resist adding: "Well, what's its name?"

Jacen smacked his lips, thinking. "I dunno. I—" He dropped his gaze and sat up, spine straight, suddenly embarrassed. "I was thinkin' maybe to name him…" His eyes flicked to Kallus's face, as if he was asking for permission to say the name.

"Go on," he urged gently. He folded himself into a cross-legged position in front of Jacen.

The boy dipped his head, a fringe of dark green hair flopping in his eyes. "Kanan," he mumbled. "Like my dad, but—I don't want my mama to be sad. She gets sad to talk about him. She doesn't say. But I can tell." He tapped a hand over his heart. "We know each other pretty good, mama and me."

Kallus didn't have time to process and respond to that before Jacen went on. "Is it true that she has a broke heart?"

Jacen's gaze was so carefully curious. Kallus didn't know how to answer. "A _broken_ heart," he repeated dumbly. "Where in blazes did you hear that?"

A pink flush crept onto rounded cheeks. "Maybe Bean and I were watchin' the HoloNet late one night after bedtime last time I visited her. She turned it off _real_ fast when they started talkin' bout mama."

Kallus ground his teeth in frustration; the gossip reporters loved to pry into the lives of Republic High Command. Mon Mothma, Leia Organa, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker and others were the more common targets, but every so often, Hera's name came up. How could it not? She was a high-ranking general, war hero, single mother, daughter of a Twi'lek revolutionary. And after what happened on Lothal, it hadn't taken long for tales to circulate about her dead, Jedi lover. Those stories only ever had three things right: Kanan had died, Hera was pregnant at the time, and she'd been utterly devastated.

Those were three things no little boy should have to know about his mother. No little boy should have to be worried about making his mother sad.

"Xander," the little one prompted softly. He used the special nickname for Kallus that only he was allowed to speak. He crawled over, depositing himself in Kallus's lap.

Kallus put his arms lightly around the boy. "You have a _very_ special mother."

Jacen huffed. "Well, I _knew_ thaaat," he said. "But does she have a broke heart?"

"It's—" Kallus wanted to say no, but there was no way that wasn't a lie. "A little bit, I'm afraid. She was very sad when your father died, because she loved him very much. But you don't have to worry about her, Jacen, you understand? She can be sad sometimes and still be perfectly alright."

"Does it make it worser to talk about him—my dad?" The question was anxious; as badly as he wanted to avoid hurting Hera, he was growing ever-more-curious about Kanan.

"Maybe for a moment," Kallus answered truthfully. There had been times, especially in Jacen's infancy, when Hera hadn't been able to talk about Kanan at all. Those days, she'd been able to keep herself and the baby alive, and that was all. Now, she was so much _better_ and she talked about Kanan whenever Jacen wanted to. She encouraged Sabine and Kallus and Rex and Zeb to do the same. But that shadow still lingered in her eyes when Kanan came up—those who knew her best could always see it. "But," he continued, locking eyes with Jacen, "I think it probably helps, too."

Jacen's face scrunched. "I don't get it."

 _She probably doesn't, either_ , Kallus thought. Grief was terribly complicated. Aloud he said: "Broken hearts are a funny thing."

There was a skeptical quirk of angular brows. "But she's okay?"

"She's very okay. I promise." He paused. "But perhaps, since she's not overly fond of crawly things, and she _was_ very fond of your father…"

"Don't name the lizard Kanan," the boy finished astutely. He hummed and then his eyes widened to a ridiculously and he looked up at Kallus with pure glee on his face. "I think he changes colors— _I can name him Bean._ "

"Ohh. I think you _should._ " Kallus almost laughed himself sick. Sabine Wren would be fit to be tied when she found out a lizard had been named after her. "Go get that thing out of your closet," he gasped, trying to regain composure, "and quick let's call her."

With a wild whoop, Jacen scrambled up and Kallus hauled himself out of the floor, heading toward the apartment's living area and communications array. He could hear Jacen singing some happy, made-up song as small children were wont to do. It made him smile. Then, suddenly and for no reason at all, Kallus spoke to the empty room.

"You've got yourself quite a boy, Jarrus." His skin tingled with the eerie feeling that someone had _heard_ him, and it was unnerving, but he went on. "And you're welcome, by the way, for not having a lizard named after you. But perhaps—if you're _very_ lucky—he'll finally talk Hera into a pup."


End file.
